But the problem with that is that I feel a little bit like I'm completely lost. I don't know how to be this New Maghan. New Maghan is a little scary to the shards of old Maghan that are hanging around. Before you start picking out my cell at the looney bin, hear me out. (and make sure it's purple.) Two years ago, I was sad, lonely and in a job I loved but that didn't bring me the income I needed to really stand on my own. I was making payments on a car that barely got me from point a to point b and I was miserable. I rarely went out with friends and I was SO TIRED ALL THE TIME. I wasn't perky. I wasn't happy.
Now I'm in a fantastic city that I LOVE. I've got a great job that compensates me well. I have a kick ass apartment that keeps getting better as time goes on. I'm dating someone who respects me and treats me better than I ever thought possible. And I have so so many awesome friends (who are more like family). I go out practically all the time. I'm happy. I'm perky. I'm loved. And I have a great life. I am truly blessed to be where I am right now. And while I am SO happy to be living this life, like I said, it's a little hard to get used to. It's like all those times when I'd catch my body doing something new (crossing my legs, walking between the patient chair and the counter, RUNNING), I sometimes have to ask myself, WHO IS THIS PERSON? One of the main ways that I know I've changed, is that I actually care about my hard work slipping away and that I'm really miss the me who ran and was in control of eating, exercise, and all those other things over the past two years.
I'm still struggling with doing what I know I should. I think part of the problem with my seeming lack of control has been because I've been so focused on doing everything perfect. So, this week I've decided to break my list into smaller "bite size" increments. It's what I did in my beginning days of WW.
The first week, all the leader asked was that we track. She didn't ask anything about activity. She didn't ask that we completely overhaul our kitchens. In short, she asked only what was feasible. I'm really having a hard time with tracking. So I'm going to work on it. I'm going to track but I'm not going to stress myself out over it. I don't have to be PERFECT. (And really isn't that what it's all about, learning to live with your imperfections?)
This week I'm super excited about some new acquisitions so I'm focusing on Activity.
At minimum 30 minutes of REAL activity per day.
I've done a lot of things to help accomplish this. Drum Roll please....
I've missed running. Haven't actually done it since the fall, so it'll be interesting to see how I do when I start tomorrow. I love running in Ryka's. Usually they don't have ANY in my size at the mall. I saw these at Lady Footlocker. They had my size (I'm now a 9 where two years ago I was a 10). And they were cheaper (79.99) than the Nike's (99.99) that first caught my eye. So it was fate, right? I couldn't NOT buy them.
I may have gone a little overboard on the whole exercise thing, because I also bought a bicycle.
I never realized how expensive it can be to get started with all this stuff. When I bought my shoes, I also got some new socks (because they were "on sale" and I really did need more socks). I also bought some new exercise pants (because they had this little purple stripey thingie.) And today I bought a bike, a helmet, a lock, a hand-pump (for the bike) and two sports bras (that I have to wear at the same time to minimize the 'bounce'). I may end up having to take a second job to support my new activities, especially because, I think Sophie needs a bicycle basket. This is the one I've had my eye on.
Life is good.
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